Releasing Harsh Self-judgment and Embracing My Scars
It’s a lot more difficult agreeing to a scar than receiving one by accident. We often become comfortable with ourselves over time, and not knowing what we will look like post-surgery can be scary. We may worry how the physical changes will impact our lives and our interactions with others.
As I move forward with my new transsternal thymectomy scar, I intend to pay close attention to the narrative I tell myself — the negative self-talk.
Many of us are so attached to this idea of perfectionism that it’s nearly impossible to be entirely confident in our bodies as they are. Any years spent rejecting our bodies will always be a waste of time. How unfair is that to us and the only body we will ever have?
How often do we avoid loving our current body, focusing on the impossible ways we could look better, be more desirable? How often do we let the perfectionist within us prevent us from creating and working at all?
Too often we stop putting our most authentic selves out there in the world because we fear rejection and the opinions of those around us. But we’re only comparing ourselves with others according to what society says we should look like, be like, possess, or succeed at.
As individuals with myasthenia gravis (MG), we need to conserve as much energy as possible. So let’s give our minds a break from locating our insecurities all the time. Let’s allow our bodies a break from the unrealistic pressure that society, ourselves included, puts on them. We may need to love our surgical scars a little more to physically and emotionally heal.
Happiness is learning how to live with ourselves without constant judgment. The more we like ourselves, the less validation we will desire from others. I’m gradually learning not to stand in front of the mirror and analyze my reflection, pinpointing every minor blemish I deem a flaw.
There is nothing we lack. We did nothing to deserve our scars. And sometimes we have to be brave and accept that we are on a one-way road and will get a little scarred up along the way.
Let’s not focus on what we don’t have, what we desire, or what’s fixable. Instead, let’s appreciate what we do have and understand about ourselves. We know best which strengths and values we offer the world.
It’s OK if there are some days we don’t fully love ourselves, feel confident in our abilities, or remember what truly matters. The relationship we have with ourselves must be nurtured and given quality time — the same as any of our relationships if they are to be successful.
Self-love, trust, and confidence are half of the ingredients for success. Being wise encompasses knowing what to overlook about ourselves. If we believe we are capable rather than predetermining our failure, we will be less vulnerable to being torn down.
Our scars aren’t reminders to wear heavily but gateways to encourage others to understand us more deeply.
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