Dear myasthenia gravis (MG), This note isn’t easy for me to write, but I think it’s time we break up. I could be cliché and say it’s not you, it’s me. But let’s be real, you’re the star of the show, my dear myasthenia gravis. So it is, unfortunately…
The Whispered Roar
— Shawna Barnes
Shawna N.M. Barnes is a writer, accessible website designer, and disabled veteran living in Cable, Wisconsin, with her husband. She was diagnosed with seronegative generalized myasthenia gravis (MG) in 2018 after seven years of advocating for herself within the VA’s medical system. She hopes that through her transparency, bluntness, and no-nonsense way of writing about life with her disease that she can help others see that there is hope after an MG diagnosis. Sometimes, we just have to get out of our own way to live our best lives.
This week was jam-packed with appointments. When it came time to sit down and write or edit something worthy of y’all, my brain gave me the big ol’ middle finger for multiple days in a row. Enter my husband. I’ve talked about him before. He has been my caregiver…
This column describes the author’s own experiences with pyridostigmine bromide. Not everyone will have the same response to treatment. Consult your doctor before starting or stopping a therapy. A little-known fact about yours truly: When I was enlisted in the U.S. Army as a combat medic, I was studying…
Two hundred measly yards. If you had asked 14-year-old me to swim 200 yards, I would’ve laughed, flipped down my goggles, and knocked it out before you finished the question. I was a distance swimmer. The 1,000-yard and 1,650-yard races were my jam. There were plenty of practices where my…
After every major flare of myasthenia gravis (MG), there comes a stretch of time that feels like limbo. I call it the “gray zone” of healing. It’s that place between being actively sick and feeling recovered enough to do my version of normal things, the things I…
Healing doesn’t always look like rest and stillness. Sometimes it looks like kicking your legs with wild abandon in a murky lake while your husband looks on amused, wondering how his 41-year-old wife suddenly turned into a giddy 10-year-old. I’ve always loved the water, and it’s where I’ve felt the…
I’ve been in survival mode for so long that I forgot what it felt like to just be. To breathe without panic. To cry without consequence. To feel without falling apart. But over the past couple of months, life gave me no choice but to feel everything. And wow, it’s…
It all started during a regular intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusion, part of my routine dance with myasthenia gravis (MG). I was mid-infusion when my eyelids started doing the gravity tango and my ability to speak and swallow took a nosedive. Drooping, choking, and that unmistakable MG weakness crept in…
I’ve seen these questions pop up in myasthenia gravis (MG) forums more times than I can count: “Why do we get weak? Why do we fall?” If you live with MG, you’ve probably asked it, too — sometimes out loud, sometimes in that quiet moment after your tush…
I used to think stress always looked like a dramatic meltdown. You know, ugly crying, yelling into a pillow, eating a bag of cheese curls while binge-watching trashy TV. (Been there, no regrets.) But stress is sneakier than that. She doesn’t always knock loudly. Sometimes she’ll tiptoe in wearing…
Someone recently left a comment on one of my columns that made me pause and lean in. They wrote that myasthenia gravis (MG) isn’t rare; it’s just underdiagnosed. Oofta. That one hit like a whisper with a punch. Because on the surface, it feels true. Many of us with…
“I’m watching you, Wazowski. Always watching.” If you’re a cartoon fiend like I am, you likely recognize that quote from “Monsters, Inc.,” said by Roz, an administrator. Roz has a gravelly, smoky rasp of a voice. I’ve used this character as an example of what I sound like when my…
Note: This column describes the author’s own experiences with intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusions. Not everyone will have the same response to treatment. Consult your doctor before starting or stopping a therapy. The week, after my cousin’s wedding, I had an intravenous immunoglobulin (IVIG) infusion scheduled — and thank…
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