Learning About My Personality Type Helped Me to Better Manage My MG
During a consultation with my psychiatrist, she told me I have a Type A personality. “Me?!” I thought. That can’t be right. However, I have tremendous respect for her as a medical specialist, so I took her word for it.
The more I read about Type A personalities, the more I started to understand the origin of my flaws in dealing with my own health.
Foolishly, I’d always thought that you had to check every single box to be a certain personality type. I believed Type A personalities were incredibly organized and meticulous, and I’ve always seen myself as unorganized chaos that floats by and fools people into believing I have my ducks in a row. Insecurity is also linked to Type A traits.
“You’re driven, competitive, and career-oriented,” my psychiatrist said.
At first I thought, “But I’m also a mess and clumsy and scatterbrained.” However, I suddenly realized that she was right. The three characteristics she listed have enabled me to succeed thus far in life, despite being a little absent-minded on occasion.
“You and your boyfriend are both Type A personalities.” She continued to drop bombshells of knowledge that would ultimately expand my understanding of my relationship and myself.
I am in a Type A relationship. We tirelessly support each other’s goals and secretly compete with each other — all in good spirits. We keep each other driven. My boyfriend always keeps me going, especially when I don’t feel like I can go any further.
“You are driven, competitive, and career-oriented.”
I am driven. That’s why I always push myself past my thresholds, emotionally and especially physically. I tend to keep going until I physically collapse or struggle to breathe. I won’t stop until my task is complete, often disregarding my own health and needs to reach the goal.
I am competitive. I struggle to ask for and accept help. I seem to have internalized the ideology that asking for help is synonymous with being weak. Since my myasthenia gravis diagnosis, I have made an effort to never be seen as weak in any regard. This flaw can be detrimental to my health and has resulted in a few hospitalizations that could have been avoided had I just accepted help.
I am career-oriented. I tend to equate success in my career to success in my life. The more I think about this, it’s obvious how little compassion I have for myself. You can count on me to discredit any personal growth if I have not met my career goals.
Because I am driven, competitive, and career-oriented, I often need someone to remind me to stop and rest. I am incredibly tough on myself and hold myself to the highest of standards — standards I don’t hold other people to. My inner circle has often told me that I need to extend the kindness I show to my fellow man to myself as well. In the past, I have been reluctant to listen, deciding that these three personality traits were the reason I was fooling people into thinking I was “making it.”
However, these three traits were also my excuses for not asking for help, pushing myself too far, and discrediting my personal growth. I am thankful that my psychiatrist showed me that I am more than a well-put-together, scatterbrained mess. I found great value in learning more about my personality type. It’s important to remember that all progress is important, not just medical progress.
Keep fighting. Life is beautiful.
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