Finding a balance between symptom tracking and living life

How I pay attention to my body's patterns without sacrificing my sanity

Written by Shawna Barnes |

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Living with myasthenia gravis (MG) means living with questions. Not the big, existential ones, but the small, relentless ones that follow you through your day. Is this an internal trigger or an external one? Is it something I can control, or is it happening no matter what I do? And the hardest one of all: Is it worth paying attention to?

For a long time, I tried to track everything. And I mean everything — every symptom, every shift, every moment that felt even slightly different. I wanted answers. I wanted patterns, or at least something that made MG feel less random. But tracking everything quickly became its own full-time job, and I realized I was spending more time analyzing my life than living it.

So I started asking a different question: What actually matters?

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Some triggers are external, such as heat, overstimulation, and temperature swings. These are the things the world throws at me. I can’t control them, but I can prepare for them. I can step out of a loud room. I can avoid the sun on a hot day.

Some triggers are internal, including hormonal shifts, poor sleep, immune activity, and emotional stress. These are the things happening inside my body long before I feel the symptoms. I can’t stop them, but I can recognize them. I can give myself more grace on the days when my body is already working harder than I realize.

And then there are the triggers that sit somewhere in between. The ones that blur the line between internal and external. A prolonged elevated heart rate is one of mine. If my heart rate stays above 110 beats per minute for too long, my diaphragm starts to fatigue and my breathing becomes shallow. It took years of trial and error to figure that out. My smartwatch helps me catch it before it becomes a problem, but it’s not something I obsess over. It’s just one more piece of information that helps me understand my body.

The truth is, not every trigger needs to be tracked. Not every moment needs to be analyzed. And not every symptom needs to be explained. Some days, MG is just MG.

I’ve also learned that awareness has a cost. The more I track, the more I notice. The more I notice, the more aggravated I get. And the more aggravated I get (because my body is a traitor), the louder my symptoms feel. Hypervigilance can be its own kind of trigger, and it can make MG feel bigger than it needs to be.

So I’ve built a different kind of trigger map. I pay attention to the patterns that show up repeatedly: sleep quality, stress, illness, heart rate, and temperature. Aside from too much physical activity, these are the things that reliably affect me and worsen my symptoms. I don’t track them every day. I don’t write them down unless I need to. I just stay aware enough to understand what my body is trying to tell me.

And I let the rest go.

Because the goal isn’t to control MG. The goal is to live a life that feels like mine, even with MG in it.

The question I come back to is simple: Does this information help me live better, or does it make me more anxious? If it helps, I keep it. If it doesn’t, I let it go.

I’m not building a life around fear or hypervigilance. I’m building a life around what I can still do, what still matters, and what still brings me joy. I’m choosing the version of awareness that gives me freedom, not the one that cages me. I can’t control every trigger. I can’t predict every crash. But I can decide how I live in the space between them.

And gosh darn it all, I’m going to live the best life I can with the hours I have.


Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.

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