In public, my twin brother outsmarts MG with cold air and thick skin
A sense of humor helps Aaron deal with difficult people
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My twin brother, Aaron, took advantage of the recent winter blast in New York and went to the gym. With myasthenia gravis (MG), he finds that he has more energy in lower temperatures.
Being out in public means having to sometimes deal with people at their worst. He said he goes when the gym isn’t crowded, as he likes to limit his interactions. Aaron wore sunglasses for 20 years to hide his badly misaligned eyes, and people used to stare or ask him if he was drunk or on drugs.
He told me about a recent encounter with a group of young people who were sitting on gym equipment and socializing, taking selfies, streaming videos, and hanging out, but not working out. When he asked them when they would be finished, they responded in a way that made him realize they planned on staying longer now that they knew he was waiting.
My brother told me he has learned to fall back on his sense of humor and to use de-escalation techniques to stay positive when dealing with difficult people. Stress and anger worsen his muscle weakness and flare-ups, so Aaron has to make sure he’s not unwittingly causing his own symptoms.
Protective measures
A 2018 medical study suggests that optimism, positivity, and a good sense of humor provide emotional protection for those living with MG. Being realistically hopeful also correlated with an improved quality of life and can help to keep hopelessness and depression at bay.
The incident at the gym helped Aaron see that he can’t control how other people behave, and getting angry at their rude behavior could make his symptoms flare up. He told me he decided to work out on the equipment that was available.
Later, when we talked about it, we joked about young people streaming every moment of their lives instead of living them. I told him it was like making a painting of a sandwich, forgetting the sandwich, and gazing at the painting.
Having a quirky sense of humor won’t work on every rude person you encounter. As long as your physical safety is not in question, sometimes ignoring rude people is the best de-escalation tactic. Having a screaming match with someone who cuts in front of you in line might be maddening, but it’s not the end of the world.
Aaron told me the stress isn’t worth it. What matters most is how you deal with it, and that’s by remembering you may not be able to control what other people do, but you can control your reactions.
Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.
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