Living with ADHD and MG, I’m constantly pulled in opposite directions

One pushes me forward at full speed, while the other forces me to stop

Written by Sarah Bendiff |

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I can proudly say I have never given up because of my condition.

As a child, I kept running everywhere, despite the bruises that never seemed to disappear, and I never stopped exploring, even if I literally collapsed from exhaustion or walked straight into a wall because of diplopia. I guess myasthenia gravis (MG) wanted to experience childhood with me, too.

Later, when I was a teenager, my friends never believed I could keep up. We would plan to walk two hours just to reach a famous café far from our neighborhood, and they would say, “But you’ll get tired” or, “But you’re sick.” This was years before my MG diagnosis, and it was hard to hear. Who were they to decide my limits? If I said I could do it, then I could.

The truth is, I couldn’t.

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Trapped between opposites

I am very hyperactive. My brain is constantly overflowing with ideas, excitement, ambitions, and emotions, and I struggle to slow it down. For years, I truly believed I was limitless. It was only after understanding MG and how it affects my body that it made sense that I’d lose my breath after a long day or feel physically destroyed after too much activity.

As soon as I got my diagnosis, I started limiting my physical adventures. But my mind never accepted it.

I wanted to become a fashion stylist, an English teacher, a physics researcher. I wanted to open women-only resorts, launch foundations to help underprivileged people, and work on a hundred projects at once. The louder my brain screamed, “WE CAN,” the more my body answered, “WE CAN’T,” and my frustration grew.

My biggest challenge with MG is not physical exhaustion but keeping up with my own mind.

There is constant conflict between my brain, which wants to conquer the world overnight, and my body, which punishes me for every extra effort. Some days, I feel like I’m trapped between two opposite versions of myself.

Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) fills my head with nonstop ideas, excitement, impulsivity, and an obsession with doing everything at once. Meanwhile, MG demands rest, patience, and limits. One pushes me forward at full speed, while the other forces me to stop. And I am stuck in between.

It feels like living on an emotional roller coaster that never truly stops. One day, I am planning 10 businesses and imagining huge projects, and the next, I am too exhausted to walk upstairs without losing my breath. Sometimes I laugh about it, because even healthy people couldn’t manage everything I dream about doing, but I still love blaming MG. At this point, it almost feels like our own toxic love language.

So how can someone living with both MG and ADHD function properly?

How I manage this strange balance

The most helpful thing for me is recognizing the source of my exhaustion.

If it’s MG exhaustion, the solution is physical rest. I cancel plans, sleep all day, stretch gently, or schedule a massage if I can afford one. I let my body recover before it forces me to.

But if it’s ADHD exhaustion, the solution is completely different. What I need is stimulation, novelty, and excitement. Sometimes it’s as simple as starting a new series or watching a movie. Other times, when my body allows it, I sign up for a random class: painting, poetry, dance, or even a gym session. Expressing all that mental energy is the only way to escape the unhealthy loop in my head.

And if my hormones decide to join the party, too, then I simply cry dramatically and complain about everything.

As exhausting as it is, this strange balance is my life. Some people experience higher highs, others deeper lows, and maybe this is just my own way of feeling the world intensely. Between MG and ADHD, I may constantly feel torn apart, but at least I know one thing for sure: I will never live life halfway.


Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.

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