I wouldn’t trade my new cat for the world, despite the difficulties
MG makes it hard to care for a pet, but the love is worth it
I must be transparent with you from the start: I’m not writing this because my cat isn’t cuddly and doesn’t love me the way I love her.
I’d like you all to meet Philotte, the Persian cat I consider my daughter.
I never used to be a cat person, or even a pet person, and I’ve never searched for a pet to adopt, although I have read many inspiring stories about how pets can help with mental health or with everyday life in the case of service dogs.
Philotte came into my life unexpectedly. A family friend brought us a tiny kitten one day to gift to someone else — a friend who loved animals. But the moment I saw her, something changed. I was scared of cats, yet I couldn’t let her go. This small, hairy ball awakened motherhood hormones in me I didn’t even know I had.
I naively thought myasthenia gravis (MG) wouldn’t be an obstacle, and having no prior contact with animals reassured me that it would be easy — but reality proved otherwise. In the first few days, I discovered that not all cats go to their litter box instinctively and found myself on my knees cleaning up after her all around the house, which I sadly still do sometimes, and trust me, by the end of the day when I have zero energy, it’s upsetting.
To make it even more challenging, my lovely daughter (my cat) doesn’t want to eat ready-to-use pet food, so I have to cook for her (chicken and veggies are her favorite!). But my exhausted body doesn’t even want to cook for itself, so day to day, the challenges grow. I have to fight my tired body to accomplish my new duties — and only I am to blame for creating the situation!
Don’t get me wrong, the situation doesn’t make me love her less or regret having her, but I already know that if I had known how tiring it would be, I would’ve chosen to live my disability alone in a corner. Taking care of myself is already challenging enough. I have all the love on the planet to give her, but I also live with a disabled body that can’t give her the care she deserves. Every night, I feel guilty for not being capable enough to run around the house and play hide-and-seek or fetch-the-ball like she loves to do.
Sarah Bendiff and her “daughter,” Philotte, cuddle on the couch. (Photo by Dounia Bendiff)
But the most dramatic story happened the last time I took her to the vet. I ended up sitting on the ground outside crying, with Philotte in my arms, because I couldn’t lift her anymore. Her small body felt like it weighed a ton in my hands, and I felt like my legs had collapsed. I thought that taking her out of her carrier would make it easier for me by removing some weight from the equation. But simply holding her outside — while she was anxious and trying to run away and hide — with my numb arms was one of the hardest moments of my life.
In moments like these, I feel like I’m losing control of my life. Honestly, if I wasn’t living with my family, I probably wouldn’t be able to care for her. My mom feeds her in the morning because I wake up late and never get enough rest, and my sister covers the emergency vet needs. Because of my MG, unplanned problems become very hard to manage. I can’t tell my body to cooperate just because my cat is suffering from some new virus that is circulating!
For me, this is the worst part of my illness: when disability affects others; when I can see my baby cat wants to play but I can’t get up; when my sister has to take off work to manage emergencies; when people around me get upset because I’ve taken too long to clean up after her.
So would I advise against getting a pet? No. But every decision those of us who have MG make changes our daily lives in ways we can’t always predict. Even people without disabilities sometimes find pet ownership too demanding. For me, though, Philotte has been a lesson in love, patience, and acceptance.
Because in the end, she’s not just a cat. She’s family.
Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.
About the Author
Lois Kantor
Absolutely right! Yes, it's extra work, and at my senior age?MG, I don't need extra work. But life without my 2 cats? No way. What they give to me far outweighs the effort of caring for them. I suspect a dog or ferret, etc, would also work. but CATS. :)
Dave Hall
Right now, I have five herding dogs in my den and only three of the six cats. When I bought this farm 25+ years ago I never dreamt I would have this many pets. I would not change anything. Love them all. Uh Oh, got to go. Another cat that likes to spend time on my lap just came in. They make for a blessed day.