How to make room for intimacy when chronic illness enters a relationship

Intimacy becomes a different kind of conversation when a chronic illness like myasthenia gravis (MG) enters a relationship. Before my diagnosis, I believed closeness was mostly about desire, timing, and connection. I didn’t realize how much it also depended on muscle strength, breath control, and the ability to stay present in my own body.

When my health was at its worst, my husband and I went almost a full year without sex or any kind of physical intimacy. It wasn’t because we stopped loving each other, and it wasn’t because the desire disappeared. It was simply that my body couldn’t keep up. I was exhausted, weak, and often in survival mode. Even gentle touch felt overwhelming. That stretch of time forced us to rethink what intimacy meant for both of us; for me as the person living inside an unpredictable body, and for him as the person who loved me through it.

Recommended Reading

February 5, 2026 Columns by Sarah Bendiff

I do not want to lose myself to myasthenia gravis

Intimacy isn’t only physical

Chronic illness doesn’t erase the pressure many of us feel to “perform” or to meet cultural expectations about what a romantic relationship should look like. I worried he would feel, or was feeling, rejected. He worried about hurting me or pushing too hard. We were both grieving the loss of the familiar without knowing how to talk about it.

MG pushed us into conversations we’d never had before, the kind that required honesty about what my body could handle and what it couldn’t. We had to learn how to express desire without assuming physical follow‑through, how to stay connected when my symptoms changed from day to day, and how to separate emotional closeness from physical capability. Those conversations weren’t always comfortable, but they became the foundation of a new kind of intimacy that didn’t rely on pressure or assumptions.

For partners, it’s important to understand that a lack of physical intimacy is not a lack of love. It isn’t rejection. It isn’t disinterest. Sometimes it’s simply the body saying, not today. And for the person with MG, it’s OK to grieve what has changed while still believing in the relationship you’re building together. There is room for both grief and connection. There is room for desire even when the body can’t act on it. There is room for love that adapts rather than disappears.

Redefining closeness can strengthen a relationship

During that year without physical intimacy, we had to find other ways to stay close. None of them replaced sexual connection, but they kept us tethered to each other while my body healed enough to participate again. We learned that intimacy could be quiet and subtle, something that lived in shared glances, in the way he steadied me when I stood up too fast, how he took extra care when helping me wash my hair, or in the way I leaned into him when my legs felt unreliable. We learned that closeness could be built in the small moments when we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable, even when touch wasn’t possible.

As my health improved, we discovered that intimacy didn’t have to return all at once. It could come back slowly, in pieces, shaped by what my body could manage on any given day. Some days I could be physically close. Other days I couldn’t. MG doesn’t care about timing or plans, so we learned to treat intimacy as something flexible rather than fixed. That flexibility, that willingness to adapt, made our relationship stronger.

For couples navigating MG, the message I want you to hear is this: Your relationship is not defined by what your body can or cannot do. Love is not measured in frequency. Desire doesn’t disappear just because the body is inconsistent. Romance doesn’t vanish when touch becomes complicated. Your body is still worthy of closeness. Your relationship is still capable of deep connection. And intimacy, real intimacy, can grow in the spaces where you learn to meet each other with honesty, compassion, and patience.

Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.