Does my twin use video games to escape his MG reality?

Is escapism a way to cope with reality or, as the word implies, an attempt to slowly and permanently escape from it? Does escapism have levels to it, and when is it dangerous? I’ll admit I’m an escapist. I’m a former pothead who lost way too many brain cells to “Mary Jane” in my youth. That’s the thing, too; is one form of escapism more palatable or valid than others?

Who gets to judge?

For example, my twin brother, Aaron, who was diagnosed with myasthenia gravis (MG) in 1999 at age 24, spends hours daily playing video games. I consider him a hardcore gamer. Some days he’d spend six or seven hours playing video games — not in one sitting, but broken up by whatever he had to do during the day. He kept doing it for years.

It used to drive me and some of my other relatives crazy, and I judged him for the habit. To my mind, he seemed to prefer the video game landscape over reality. I can count the number of times Aaron and I have argued in almost 50 years of life, and his video gaming was one of those few divisive topics between us.

Reminiscing on this subject has shown me that perhaps I’m sometimes too judgmental of others. During the few times Aaron and I argued about it, however, I didn’t care if I was judgmental or not.

Aaron is still a hardcore gamer, though I’ve come to understand that he doesn’t play as much as he once did. Still, I feel that he wasted a lot of time on those games. Is that easy for me to say, given that he has the limiting disease of MG and I don’t? If playing a game is his greatest coping mechanism for dealing with his health, who am I to criticize?

I want to interview him about it, but it’s a touchy subject.

Interviewing myself

The crux of the issue is, was I right to be so hard on Aaron for finding escapism in video games? Will I be kicking an emotional hornet’s nest by bringing up this issue again?

I’ve seen Aaron become a physically different person since he was diagnosed with MG. For over 20 years, he dealt with severe eye misalignment and wore sunglasses for decades to hide the issue. Thankfully, he underwent strabismus surgery in late 2024 that corrected the issue. Still, while his eyes now look forward, he can’t move them; they’re stuck in place.

Aaron dealt with all of these issues in silence for decades. My family helped and supported him, but we barely discussed his disease openly. I want to say we were sparing his feelings, but I think we were sparing our own. Perhaps the silence was our escapism as we coped with our trauma, watching this all unfold. Aaron had a thymectomy long ago to alleviate his MG symptoms, and I’d completely forgotten about it.

It’s been hard for me to admit that there’s so much I barely know about my twin brother’s struggles with MG in the past 26 years. Even though his MG flare-ups and muscle weakness come in cycles, some weeks are worse than others. Extreme heat can cause him to experience muscle weakness, which was a recent mind-blowing revelation to me.

Aaron also had intermittent periods of MG remission from around 2014 to 2019, which caused him to stop taking his medicine for a while, hoping the disease was behind him. In judgmental shock, I told him to never do that again; I’ve since asked myself if I would’ve done the same.

About 15 years ago, I got divorced, lost my job, and had to move back home with my mother and other siblings, including Aaron. Aaron never judged me; maybe he should have, though, because I made a lot of life mistakes. Still, he had his own issues to deal with, including living with MG.

Sometimes Aaron didn’t want to talk, or listen to me talk, about my issues because he was playing video games. More than that, I felt he was always playing video games. Sometimes I felt he was letting his life slip away for a fantasy; after all, video game addiction is now considered a psychological condition.

Now I wonder if I was overreacting. The reality of MG is harsh. Shouldn’t Aaron have the right to such escapism if no one is being hurt?

I’m going to interview Aaron soon about all of these thoughts. I’ll say everything I should’ve said 15 years ago; I won’t judge this time, as I have escapist tendencies, too. Nonetheless, reality is all we have in the end, no matter how hard it is.

Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.