I do not want to lose myself to myasthenia gravis

We exist in a perpetual journey of personal development, always trying to become the best version of ourselves, or at least the most stable one. Yet even people who are not actively seeking happiness may still spend their time running away from their problems. But how can you do that when your problem lives under your own skin?

Lately, I feel like I’ve already lost myself to myasthenia gravis.

Slowly, I began caring less about everything except surviving. I stopped taking long baths to relax and putting on makeup in the morning. I lost my appetite for fashion and shopping after realizing that a day spent walking just ended with me in pain, that removing makeup at the end of the day was just an extra step I had to take before getting to bed. That trying to be stylish just took too much effort.

I stopped caring about the pimples on my face. I stopped caring about shaving. I stopped caring about myself. I put my feelings in a cupboard and closed the door, because why do they matter? They are all connected to a condition I cannot control.

I started ignoring myself more and more. If I canceled an exciting date or an event with friends, why should I care? It is out of my hands anyway.

Recommended Reading

January 29, 2026 News by Marisa Wexler, MS

New gMG therapy candidate boosts immune tolerance processes: Study

Myasthenia gravis will not win

Am I in pain? Fine. That is the normal state now. Struggling with my mental health? It doesn’t matter; its source cannot be cured.
Sarah is not living the life she wants; she gets the life myasthenia gravis allows her to have.

Over time, some people around me started adopting the same attitude. They began caring less about my struggles, giving them less space. I heard more often, “Why should today be different? You are always sick,” or “Come on, you are always sick, what would it change if you made a little extra effort today?”

And this hurt me. But why would others invalidating my feelings hurt when I am doing the exact same thing to myself? People only feel free to diminish our pain when we give it to them.

But why should I stop caring about myself for the comfort of others? Maybe this hurt I felt from them was the sign I needed that I do not want to lose myself to myasthenia gravis, after all.

Today, I am making the decision to work on my self-esteem. I will go out on dates. I will include time for myself in my daily plans and make it the first thing I do in the morning, when my energy is still full. I need to be my own priority. I do not want to depend on others to feel loved.

So, dear myasthenia gravis, I am moving you out of the way between me and my love for myself. You can try to stand between us if you want, but you will never succeed.

Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.