Choosing love, even when my body hesitates

Next week, my boyfriend’s family will come to officially ask for my hand in marriage. Here in Algeria, that’s how engagements start. The groom’s family visits, the parents meet, and the whole thing feels as traditional as it is symbolic. It’s a beautiful ritual, but for me, it comes with an undertone of fear.

I’m afraid — not of marriage itself, but of what comes after. I’m afraid of being unable to take care of my husband because I sometimes can barely take care of myself. I’m afraid of cooking dinner while my body begs for rest, or planning a future when I don’t even know what my energy levels will look like tomorrow.

And what if a child decides to show up in my belly one day? Will my body be strong enough to carry a pregnancy? Will I be able to raise a child without collapsing in the middle of the day? Or will I become what I fear the most: an incomplete woman, defined by what her body can’t do?

Myasthenia gravis (MG) isn’t just a disease; it’s a constant question mark hanging above every decision I make. I can plan, I can dream, but MG always gets the final word. Still, I’m choosing love.

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I’m choosing the unknown path, even if I don’t know what MG will choose for me. Because I’ve seen love work — not just in healthy couples, but in friends of mine who live with chronic illnesses, too. Some of them are married to partners who are also sick, and yet, they make it work. Every day they make the conscious decision to love despite fatigue, pain, or fear.

Their relationships aren’t built on grand romantic gestures but on patience, understanding, and adaptability. I’m still learning.

I live with my parents and, honestly, I don’t do much at home. I’ve always been treated as someone who needs to be protected. Now, I’ll need to unlearn that. Marriage will demand something different from me: independence, responsibility, and maybe even a new definition of strength. I know I’ll have to adapt, to make compromises, to learn what a shared life looks like with MG in the picture. But I’m ready.

Sometimes when I think about it late at night, I imagine marriage as a dance. Most people see it as a duet, two people moving in rhythm. For me, it’s going to be a trio: me, my partner, and MG. We’ll have to learn how to move together, not trip over each other, and not let MG lead the dance. It won’t be easy, but love rarely is.

I don’t want pity or reassurances that “everything will be fine” — because it might not be. There will be days when my body fails, and I’ll feel guilty for not being enough. There will be arguments, exhaustion, and frustration. But there will also be laughter, shared meals, morning kisses, and the comfort of someone holding my hand when I can’t hold myself up. That’s what I’m choosing.

I’m choosing to believe that being chronically ill doesn’t make me less worthy of love, and it doesn’t make me an incomplete woman. MG may shape my life, but it doesn’t define my ability to love, grow, or care for someone else — even if that love looks different from what others imagine.

Maybe I’ll never be the traditional wife who does everything perfectly, but I’ll be the one who loves with awareness, effort, and heart.

Next week, when his family comes to ask for my hand, I’ll smile, not because I have all the answers, but because I’ve decided to walk this new road. With fear, yes. But also with hope.

I believe that love, even when it has to share space with MG, is still the bravest choice I can make.

Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.