Beyond the mustache: The hidden weight of male caregivers

When November rolls around, you start to notice more mustaches sprouting across faces — some fuzzy, some patchy, some magnificent. They’re part of the Movember movement, a global effort to raise awareness for men’s health, especially mental health, suicide prevention, and cancers that affect men.

But when I see that sea of mustaches, I think of another group of men who rarely step into the spotlight: the male caregivers quietly supporting their partners with chronic illnesses like myasthenia gravis (MG). My husband is one of them. He doesn’t wear a cape or a mustache badge, but he’s as steadfast as they come. When MG knocks me flat on my tush, he’s the one making sure I’m safe, fed, and grounded. He’s my anchor.

And like many men, he tends to keep his worries tucked away behind that calm exterior.

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The silent burden of strength

Movember’s message is that it’s OK for men not to be OK. That’s still a hard truth for many men to accept, especially caregivers. Society has taught them to be strong, stoic, the ones who “fix” things. But how do you fix something like MG, a disease that can shift by the hour?

Male caregivers often face an emotional tug-of-war. They’re expected to hold everything together — work, bills, appointments, household chores — while watching someone they love fight an unpredictable illness. They don’t want to add to our burden, so they keep their own pain to themselves. That’s love, yes, but it’s also a quiet path toward burnout.

I’ve seen it in my husband’s tired eyes after a long night when my symptoms flare. He doesn’t complain, but I can feel the strain in his silence.

Studies show that men are less likely to reach out for emotional support or professional counseling than women. They’re also more prone to bottling up stress until it erupts as irritability, withdrawal, or physical symptoms like headaches or insomnia. For caregivers, this can become a dangerous cycle, especially when their identity is tied to being the strong one. But mental health isn’t a weakness to overcome; it’s a vital part of surviving the long haul.

Movember’s focus on men’s mental well-being is an important reminder: The strong need support, too.

If you’re a male caregiver, please hear this from someone who sees you every day: You don’t have to do this alone. Talking to a counselor, friend, or support group isn’t unloading; it’s recharging.

Self-care and support

Here are a few ways men can start taking care of their mental health while caring for a loved one with MG:

• Check in with yourself daily. Ask how you’re really doing. Exhausted? Frustrated? Scared? That awareness is step one.
• Find a trusted outlet. This could be a friend, therapist, or even another caregiver who “gets it.” Talking out loud helps lighten the emotional load.
• Take breaks — without guilt. A walk, a drive, or time spent fishing can do wonders for a cluttered mind. If you have access to a respite provider, use them!
• Move your body. Even if you only have five to 10 minutes, physical activity releases tension and supports mental health.
• Say yes to help. Let others cook a meal, drive your loved one to an appointment, or just sit with them so you can breathe. Taking a break or saying yes to help doesn’t make you weak, it shows your strength.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and no one, no matter how strong, can carry the weight of caregiving alone forever.

To every man quietly holding it together behind the scenes of chronic illness, you are seen. You are appreciated. And you deserve the same compassion you give so freely.

Movember isn’t just about mustaches, it’s about sparking conversations. It’s about breaking the silence that keeps too many men struggling alone.

So, this month, if you spot someone rocking a mustache who normally doesn’t, remember the message behind it: Men’s mental health matters. And if you’re one of those caregivers, take a deep breath. Make that call. Ask for help. Your loved one needs you, but the world needs you healthy, too.

Note: Myasthenia Gravis News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Myasthenia Gravis News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to myasthenia gravis.