Yvette Bernal shares her journey with myasthenia gravis (MG), from the fear of early symptoms and ICU stays to navigating the realities of motherhood while managing a chronic illness. She reflects on honesty, connection, and the strength found in showing up for her children in meaningful ways.
Transcript
My name is Yvette. I am a mother and wife of three children and I was diagnosed with MG in 2014. Being diagnosed was definitely really scary. It happened when my kids were young.
My two older children were in school. My youngest was home with me and my older two — they would come home some days and I would just be laying in the room, and they would come in through the front door and my husband would be like, “Your mom’s resting.” And they started asking — “Is mom dying? Is she OK? What’s going to happen?”
That would really just tear me up because we didn’t even know what to tell them. Was I dying? Was this something that was going to be manageable? Maybe it would be manageable — but was I going to have a good quality of life? Was I going to be able to spend time with my kids?
And I’m a very hands-on mom, so I like to do picnics and play tons of games. And so it was really scary. I felt like we kind of left them in the dark, and now that they’re older, they’ve told me that they remember that time and the things that they remember.
And I think I was so focused on myself at the time — just trying to get better — that I didn’t realize what a traumatic experience it was for my kids. I would definitely say that the No. 1 thing I have done — which I had to learn — is to be very open with my children about it and communicate.
I mean, we were the family that went to all of the, like, festivals and all the events, and I felt like I had to step back from that for a little bit. And so our first Fourth of July, I started having some breathing issues. And so I called my neurologist and he said, “You need to go to the emergency room.”
I just remember sitting in my hospital bed in ICU and looking out the window, and I could see fireworks — and then I had to kind of like call my kids. But it was really difficult because you don’t want your kids to hear how sad you are or how scared you are — but you also want to talk to them, because this is a time where we’re usually together.
I had to learn how to navigate that with managing my emotions, but also not suppressing them, because I found that when I suppress them, they tend to come back as a more intense flare.
I explained to them what was going on. I let them know what the doctor was doing, and so what we ended up doing was having my kids go and visit me in ICU, because I wanted them to see that I was doing OK, because when I left the house, I was not doing OK. And they were really scared.
So now they could see me — and although I had IVs and I was in a hospital bed — they could see that I was getting better.
About five years ago, I started doing therapy and she has really taught me how to speak with my kids and be open, because I think that it’s helped them grow as people so that they can go out and they have empathy for people.
Many people tell me, “Your kids — they speak so freely and stand up for people.” And I feel like that’s part of what they’ve had to see when me and my husband have had to go to hospitals or the doctor.
And so they are very empathetic. They’re very helpful. They know that when I’m in a flare, they can come over here and maybe tell me a story. They rub my feet, they’ll do things to be with me, but also help me.
And I think having that open communication with them has really taught them that. And so I will always tell people just to be open. It’s hard to be vulnerable. But I always have felt like my home is my safe place. So my husband and my children are where I will drop all my walls and be vulnerable.
So they will see me at my worst, but they also will help me become my best when I’m not able to.
I was begging God for more time with my kids. I kept thinking — “I’m going to miss all the big dates like graduations, award ceremonies, any big thing in their life.” And it would hurt me more just thinking of my child — looking out and wishing that their mom could be there — and that would scare me.
So when I did start to get a little more stable, I’ve always remembered that what I wished for when I felt like I was dying — was just more time with my kids.
So whenever I am in a flare, I remind myself of that — because sometimes it stops me from being able to go out. Or I have a small business, so it stops me from being able to run my business and do all these different things.
But I’m still here with my children — and we can sit in my room and play Uno or watch a movie, or even if I’m just sitting here and they’re telling me a story, I’m still making memories with my kids.
So it was a blessing in disguise — because it helped me to get back on track with my children, to be the one raising them and teaching them these lessons.
They are very good kids. They’re very empathetic and I believe in the ripple effect. So what I’m teaching my kids — they’re going to put that out into the world and they’re going to touch other people’s lives. And hopefully those people will touch other people’s lives.
