Twin brothers Allen and Aaron Francis open up about life with myasthenia gravis. Allen, a writer, shares how their bond deepened after Aaron’s diagnosis, while Aaron reflects on strength, vulnerability, and the importance of finally speaking up.
Transcript
Allen: My name is Allen Francis. I was born and raised in the South Bronx, New York City. I’m a freelance writer. I write for several sites, but I’m most proud of writing for Myasthenia Gravis News.
Aaron: How are you doing, everyone? My name is Aaron Francis, and I am the twin brother of Allen Francis. I suffer with myasthenia gravis. I deal with it daily and I’m OK. I’m living day to day with the help of my family and my brothers.
Allen: Do you remember when we were kids and I was playing in the living room and I hit my head, and you woke up crying? We’re fraternal twins. I remember it, I was running around in the living room, and I busted my head in the wall and Aaron woke up crying. And they would tell us this story when we were kids, like, you know, we were in “The Shining” or something, that we had this kind of psychic link with each other.
Aaron: You know, I do remember a time working late at night at this warehouse, and I remember I fell and I remember Allen telling me around that time he remember he heard me scream.
Allen: Yes, yes, yes, I remember that.
Aaron: And I’m like, I remember having him telling me, “That kind of creeped me out.” And I’m like, “Yeah, we got that connection.” It’s kind of creepy, but you know, it’s cool.
Allen: I remember that. That was right before your diagnosis. I remember that.
Aaron: He talked to me about it every day, and he tells me I look better and I’m getting stronger. And he listens to me when I tell him how it bothers me, how it gets on my nerves, how I feel weak at times.
But he’s like, you know, “I didn’t know you were going through that.” But, you know, you dealt with it. You hid it well, you know, because as men, we’re supposed to deal with our pain. But, you know, sometimes it gets to me daily, but Allen doesn’t look down on me. He doesn’t pity me. He’s like, “Yo, you deal with it.” You know? And I try to every day, but it does bother me sometimes.
I don’t like the fact my eye droops. I don’t like the fact that sometimes I can’t open the door. You know, I have to sit there and I struggle just to turn the knob, you know? But he doesn’t give up on me. So if he ain’t going to give up, I can’t give up.
Allen: I love my twin brother. All right. I’d take bullets for him. But I’m ashamed to say, and I’ve written about this, we didn’t talk about this for a long time. You know? It was hard to confront. Now, it’s not that my family didn’t help him. We didn’t talk about it. Me and Aaron really didn’t start talking about it till about a year and a half ago. You know, of course, we talked about when his eyes were drooped sometimes, you know, his pupils couldn’t move. That was really tragic to see.
And we talked about it on the surface level. And it’s like for the past year and a half, every other week, we’re sitting down on — we have a video call or we DM — and we talk about it now, you know? We let all this stuff out that we should have said before because he dealt with so many things on his own that he shouldn’t have.
And like you said earlier, we’re dudes from the Bronx, you’re not supposed to speak about your feelings and you’re supposed to hold things in. You know?
Aaron: For everyone out there that’s dealing with MG, don’t hold in your pain. Don’t hold in the weakness and stop being afraid. You’re not alone. There are people out there who are going to help you.
The hardest thing about being strong is being strong enough to ask for help. And people don’t get that. And sometimes, I’m not gonna lie to you, I didn’t get that either. Allen was here and I sit there and I smile in his face. We watch MS3K together and laugh and smile and talk about comics. But a lot of the things I wanted to tell him, and I’m like, “No, I gotta deal with this.” But, you know, I should open up.
If you’re suffering with it, if you’re struggling with anything, ask for help. Your friends, your family always going to be there.
Allen: If you’re related to someone who has MG, talk. Don’t assume they’re OK. Don’t assume nothing has changed. Talk. See how they feel.
You know? The dynamics of the relationship might change a little because of what they’re going through, but the relationship hasn’t changed.
Aaron: You’re not suffering alone. That’s the best part.
