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Preventing Others From Taking Advantage of Our Spoons
In today’s column, I dive into preventing others from taking advantage of our spoons. Kindness is not a pass for people to take advantage of us or treat us poorly. We can be compassionate and still say no to being treated inadequately. Those of us with myasthenia gravis (MG) are not responsible for other people’s reactions or their inability to adjust to our boundaries and needs.
For those unfamiliar with what “spoons” means in this context, here is a quick explanation. Many with chronic illnesses suffer from a lack of energy and strength. We get an imaginary amount of spoons, or energy, to use each day before our energy runs dry. Not everyone fits this representation exactly, but the general idea remains. Most people with chronic illnesses have to plan their days wisely.
Healthy relationships do not entail trying to change the other person to make one more comfortable. We can change our thinking and what we are willing to tolerate as often as we need to.
We must be able to say no to anything that isn’t a full-throated yes, and walk away from anyone who doesn’t accept that we advocate for ourselves.
From experience, do you find it more beneficial to adjust to the absence of selfish people or be constantly drained by their greed?
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1 Reply
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My biggest spoons detractor is myself; it has taken me a year to understand I can`t push myself to the limit with regards to my work or self imposed responsibilities and schedules. If I overdue, I pay the price with more night time leg cramps and general malaise the next day. Maybe I have been trying to prove to myself that I am back to pre-MG days. My wife Wendy helps by reminding me to stop when you are a bit tired or when it is very hot outside or when she says “enough”.
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